skitter | IC Inbox

I'll be fine as long as I'm not mid-transformation when someone presses it. [That's a nasty thought she hadn't had before this conversation. If anyone takes her magic while she's transforming, she'll die. Her voice is steady, but she finds the prospect of bad timing alarming and may try to transform less often.]

What about you?

[Taylor's voice is steady too - too steady. She's pushing all her emotion off into her swarm again, a habit she'd been working to break.]

I won't be fine. I've made plans. If you're the one who sees me go down, please contact Rags and Dad- Kiryu for me.

I will. ...Is there anything you need before they get to you?

[There's a little pause. Taylor isn't sure if she's glad Ulla's asking or angry at herself that she's surprised.]

Can your magic put someone to sleep?

My power would be gone too.

I could try to store the magic in an object, in case it works when my magic doesn't. That would be a more complicated spell. [But Ulla likes challenges.]

... Right.

[It's the second time she's made that mistake, and Taylor knows it means she's too focused on her own fears. She exhales, shakes her head.]

It would be interesting to see if that would work.

I'll ask Warren if he thinks we should ask the Admiral, or if that might point out a loophole to close.

Valid worry. I don't think we'd get a straight answer either way.

Warren might have ideas, too. I don't need to tell him who it's for if you'd rather I didn't. I very much doubt he'll insist. [Even coming on the heels of her big tantrum on deck, he hasn't tried to constrain her use of magic at all.]

Warren's a friend, I don't mind if he knows.

I'll bear that in mind.

[A pause, and then:] ...You said your father is on the ship?

Kiryu Kazuma. My dad now in the ways that matter.

Not the father you were born to, then. [She's curious in spite of herself, letting the quiet wave of bitterness at her own parents pass over her unremarked.]

No. You met him, kind of. Danny Hebert in the breach - he was pretty close to the real thing. Different job and not like. Terrified of supervillains, but otherwise him.

Ah. [Ulla nods.] I never know how closely those other lives resemble our own.

The family you met in the breach, I don't know them at all. I only spoke with my brother a couple of times. And I've never met my birth mother. She was human, and when I was born with a tail, she gave me to my sildroher father to raise. [Baghra wasn't sentimental enough to seek out the daughter she gave up to be raised beneath the waves.]

Was it okay with your father?

It was... fine. He never acted as if he resented me. But he never told me what I was, either. He left me to weather the rumors and my sildroher mother's conflicted affection without knowing the truth.

And he tried to forbid me from going anywhere I'd be in a position to find out.

Rough. Sounds really complicated to untangle, too. After the fact.

Less so than it could have been, since I never expect to see him again.

Not planning to go home?

Wouldn't be welcomed if I did.

I still want my revenge on Roffe and Signy for the things they did, but there's nothing else there for me.

[There's a quiet noise of understanding.]

And revenge is a terrible reason to look back. Find somewhere better. I'll be going home with Rags, when I can.

There isn't anything else I particularly want. [Not yet, anyway. By the time there is, she'll be almost ready to graduate.]

Or perhaps it's that it doesn't feel possible to want anything else until I have that.

That, I get.

Feels like anything else would be - poison, or fragile, if that one thing isn't done first.

Exactly. [Soft and fervent.]

(no subject)

skitter - 2022-05-14 23:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

neverwaitslong - 2022-05-18 03:42 (UTC) - Expand