Warren might have ideas, too. I don't need to tell him who it's for if
you'd rather I didn't. I very much doubt he'll insist. [Even
coming on the heels of her big tantrum on deck, he hasn't tried to
constrain her use of magic at all.]
Not the father you were born to, then. [She's curious in spite of
herself, letting the quiet wave of bitterness at her own parents pass over
her unremarked.]
No. You met him, kind of. Danny Hebert in the breach - he was pretty close to the real thing. Different job and not like. Terrified of supervillains, but otherwise him.
Ah. [Ulla nods.] I never know how closely those other lives
resemble our own.
The family you met in the breach, I don't know them at all. I only spoke
with my brother a couple of times. And I've never met my birth mother.
She was human, and when I was born with a tail, she gave me to my sildroher
father to raise. [Baghra wasn't sentimental enough to seek out the
daughter she gave up to be raised beneath the waves.]
It was... fine. He never acted as if he resented me. But he never told me
what I was, either. He left me to weather the rumors and my sildroher
mother's conflicted affection without knowing the truth.
And he tried to forbid me from going anywhere I'd be in a position to find
out.
I decided, when I decided I want to be a warden, that I'd just- just pretend I've already done it. I'm not where I can do that yet, but I'm working on it.
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[It's the second time she's made that mistake, and Taylor knows it means she's too focused on her own fears. She exhales, shakes her head.]
It would be interesting to see if that would work.
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I'll ask Warren if he thinks we should ask the Admiral, or if that might point out a loophole to close.
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Warren might have ideas, too. I don't need to tell him who it's for if you'd rather I didn't. I very much doubt he'll insist. [Even coming on the heels of her big tantrum on deck, he hasn't tried to constrain her use of magic at all.]
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I'll bear that in mind.
[A pause, and then:] ...You said your father is on the ship?
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Not the father you were born to, then. [She's curious in spite of herself, letting the quiet wave of bitterness at her own parents pass over her unremarked.]
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Ah. [Ulla nods.] I never know how closely those other lives resemble our own.
The family you met in the breach, I don't know them at all. I only spoke with my brother a couple of times. And I've never met my birth mother. She was human, and when I was born with a tail, she gave me to my sildroher father to raise. [Baghra wasn't sentimental enough to seek out the daughter she gave up to be raised beneath the waves.]
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It was... fine. He never acted as if he resented me. But he never told me what I was, either. He left me to weather the rumors and my sildroher mother's conflicted affection without knowing the truth.
And he tried to forbid me from going anywhere I'd be in a position to find out.
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Less so than it could have been, since I never expect to see him again.
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Wouldn't be welcomed if I did.
I still want my revenge on Roffe and Signy for the things they did, but there's nothing else there for me.
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And revenge is a terrible reason to look back. Find somewhere better. I'll be going home with Rags, when I can.
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There isn't anything else I particularly want. [Not yet, anyway. By the time there is, she'll be almost ready to graduate.]
Or perhaps it's that it doesn't feel possible to want anything else until I have that.
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Feels like anything else would be - poison, or fragile, if that one thing isn't done first.
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Exactly. [Soft and fervent.]
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Lark and Warren don't think I need to give it up to graduate. I'm never sure if I believe them.
You think pretending will help you?