Ah. [Ulla nods.] I never know how closely those other lives
resemble our own.
The family you met in the breach, I don't know them at all. I only spoke
with my brother a couple of times. And I've never met my birth mother.
She was human, and when I was born with a tail, she gave me to my sildroher
father to raise. [Baghra wasn't sentimental enough to seek out the
daughter she gave up to be raised beneath the waves.]
It was... fine. He never acted as if he resented me. But he never told me
what I was, either. He left me to weather the rumors and my sildroher
mother's conflicted affection without knowing the truth.
And he tried to forbid me from going anywhere I'd be in a position to find
out.
I decided, when I decided I want to be a warden, that I'd just- just pretend I've already done it. I'm not where I can do that yet, but I'm working on it.
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Ah. [Ulla nods.] I never know how closely those other lives resemble our own.
The family you met in the breach, I don't know them at all. I only spoke with my brother a couple of times. And I've never met my birth mother. She was human, and when I was born with a tail, she gave me to my sildroher father to raise. [Baghra wasn't sentimental enough to seek out the daughter she gave up to be raised beneath the waves.]
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It was... fine. He never acted as if he resented me. But he never told me what I was, either. He left me to weather the rumors and my sildroher mother's conflicted affection without knowing the truth.
And he tried to forbid me from going anywhere I'd be in a position to find out.
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Less so than it could have been, since I never expect to see him again.
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Wouldn't be welcomed if I did.
I still want my revenge on Roffe and Signy for the things they did, but there's nothing else there for me.
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And revenge is a terrible reason to look back. Find somewhere better. I'll be going home with Rags, when I can.
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There isn't anything else I particularly want. [Not yet, anyway. By the time there is, she'll be almost ready to graduate.]
Or perhaps it's that it doesn't feel possible to want anything else until I have that.
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Feels like anything else would be - poison, or fragile, if that one thing isn't done first.
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Exactly. [Soft and fervent.]
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Lark and Warren don't think I need to give it up to graduate. I'm never sure if I believe them.
You think pretending will help you?