IC Inbox

[skitter]

Comments

[tarakan]

That is where we differ. I know I will go back to own world after I graduate.

[skitter]

It took me ages to even figure out what I needed to work on to graduate. Got any ideas?

[tarakan]

I do. Graduation obviously does not mean you have to fully change as person. Daniel Jacobi is still same asshole that he was when we first met.

[ Which is VERY strong language from Hilbert. But in his defense, wow is Jacobi an asshole. ]

Biggest arguments back home have been with regards to my research. Human trials, lack of consent in test subjects, et cetera. If I mitigate those concerns, find new ways to continue research, and understand why everybody views my methods as bad, should be enough.

[ Half points, buddy. ]

[skitter]

Oh, yeah. He's one of my favorite assholes on the boat, though. Spending time with him is a blast, and I'll miss him.

[Taylor grins, pretty sure she can picture Hilbert's expression.]

Those are probably good places to start. Though I doubt you don't understand why people view your methods as bad.

[tarakan]

[ Talking about his own methods will wait for a moment as Hilbert points out, ]

You do know Jacobi murdered me.

[skitter]

I do. Sorry. I got- very casual about death, here.

He killed me once too. Caused my death.

[tarakan]

Some of us still have tethers and opinions to the non Barge world.

[ aka Hilbert is not very casual about death, what the fuck is wrong with people here. ]

After all, everyone leaves Barge eventually. Suspect that most will return to world where death is permanent. As it should be.

[skitter]

Should is very... flexible. I'm very grateful to have had the chance to come to terms with my own, here.

[tarakan]

You have come to terms and then some based on flippancy.

[skitter]

I'm sorry for being inconsiderate about your death. Scion knows my own first one is still a bit raw. Literally, yesterday.

[tarakan]

[ There's a long pause before Hilbert grumbles, ]

Did not even know it was coming. It was foolish, stupid death enacted by foolish, stupid man.

[skitter]

Would you rather have known it was coming?

[tarakan]

Wouldn't everybody want that?

[skitter]

No, it sucks. I'll take lightning over the slow burn any day.

[tarakan]

Slow burn is painful, yes. More painful than quick, instant lightning. But sometimes what is painful is better for you. Like cutting out cancer or cauterizing wounds.

[skitter]

I burned to death in a trap I walked into. It was not swift. I'll take lightning.

[tarakan]

My last thoughts were along lines of 'something must be wrong, why can't she hear me?'. No time to think. No time to realize what was happening. No time to make peace. Just worry for something that did not matter.

[skitter]

Do you think you could have made peace?

[tarakan]

I do not know. But I would have liked opportunity to find out.

[skitter]

Maybe wanting that chance is why you're here.

[tarakan]

It is never that simple.

[skitter]

Nothing simple about that at all.

[tarakan]

We will have to beg to differ in that aspect.

Anyway. Question is not 'why am I here.' I am here because Admiral asked and I said yes. Question is 'why was I chosen in first place.'

[skitter]

Yes, which is what I meant.

Look, none of us know how the Admiral chooses. Honestly, I suspect it's not something he does consciously, or he wouldn't have brought people in days before the Authority caught us.

But it is a chance to make peace with your death.

[tarakan]

[ There's a frown and a long pause. Hilbert's obviously thinking things over for a moment before, ]

We will see. By the time I make peace with first death, I suspect another would be on the way.