She knows. She stares at her hands, fidgeting with the edge of her thumb. Not looking at him.
"We used her to fight the Wards, her team. Regent puppeted her the whole battle. We used her as a weapon and a human shield while we invaded their headquarters, and almost blew the place up. Stole a lot of files that we sold to our boss - Coil. I didn't do it myself, but that's not an excuse. I was there, I profited, I didn't speak up against it, I didn't put my foot down.
"Sophia was messed up to start with - she shot Brian before we met, an arrow straight through the gut - but after we let her go, she attacked her foster mom and tried to hang herself. Regent sent some info he got out of her computer about her to the Wards, and she went to jail. For her own crimes, not ours. I don't feel bad about that part. But that was all- it was over the line."
"It was over the line," he agrees with a nod, thinking of Morien. Of his guards with the mirrorglass in their hearts and his army of silent puppets. His hand goes to the scarring on his chest.
He's not going to let her get away from it completely. He can tell she feels bad about it, but she still hates someone else for doing the exact same thing that she was quiet about before. "Did you do it again after Sophia? Make people do shit against their will?"
She nods, stilling as she sends her fidgeting off into the swarm.
"Shatterbird. And I know it sounds like an excuse to say that was different, but Shatterbird's a member of the Slaughterhouse Nine. They're monsters. Our choices with her were kill her, let her keep threatening the whole city, or getting her under control and have a better chance to stop the Nine. To stop Jack, before he causes the end of the world. It still wasn't enough."
He stares at her. "Taking control of her was better than killing her?" he wonders softly. And there's no judgement there. He doesn't think that it is - he knows what his choice would be.
"But you still make choices during those times. What if something like that happened and you had to use your powers to kill someone? To kill me? Kill Kaz? And then came out of it and knew that you couldn't do anything against the person who did it to you because they could just do it again?"
He rests his chin in his hands. He's not angry with her. Just concerned. "I didn't kill myself when Morien had his fucking glass in me. When he was forcing me to do what he wanted. But that's just because I was focused on survival. False hope that I'd get out."
She shuts her eyes, shoulders stiff. "I already know I can't tolerate Regent staying on the team when I go back. Like. Sophia and Shatterbird are just the ones he did since I've met him. I know he was... worse, before. Less discriminate."
She gives him a very brief look of wide-eyed mock shock, but isn't in the mood to keep that up at all.
Sighing, she shakes her head. "Especially for someone who's never killed anyone on purpose herself before. But Coil's never going to let Dinah go, and I can't leave her with him. He'll use her up. She's 12. I tried bargaining, tricking, buying- everything I can do. He's the one who decided it's him or me.
"And Shatterbird killed thousands of people like- days ago, in my world. Not her first mass casualty event, either.
Taylor props her elbows on the table, hands in her hair, bees crawling over her fingers. "Because I'm the one who will. My team doesn't like him having this kid drugged and prisoner, but they're not willing to go to war over it. And bringing the heroes in would just mean they wind up using her."
"Yeah, welcome to heroes." She shuts her eyes. "We told them about her prediction of the end of the world, while we were all fighting the Nine together. They said some things."
"That they'd need to get more numbers out of her. They'd recruit her. She's too young, and her power beats the shit out of her. I just want her to get to go home to her family.
"Since it's my- my team's fault Coil got his hands on her."
cw: suicide mention
"We used her to fight the Wards, her team. Regent puppeted her the whole battle. We used her as a weapon and a human shield while we invaded their headquarters, and almost blew the place up. Stole a lot of files that we sold to our boss - Coil. I didn't do it myself, but that's not an excuse. I was there, I profited, I didn't speak up against it, I didn't put my foot down.
"Sophia was messed up to start with - she shot Brian before we met, an arrow straight through the gut - but after we let her go, she attacked her foster mom and tried to hang herself. Regent sent some info he got out of her computer about her to the Wards, and she went to jail. For her own crimes, not ours. I don't feel bad about that part. But that was all- it was over the line."
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He's not going to let her get away from it completely. He can tell she feels bad about it, but she still hates someone else for doing the exact same thing that she was quiet about before. "Did you do it again after Sophia? Make people do shit against their will?"
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"Shatterbird. And I know it sounds like an excuse to say that was different, but Shatterbird's a member of the Slaughterhouse Nine. They're monsters. Our choices with her were kill her, let her keep threatening the whole city, or getting her under control and have a better chance to stop the Nine. To stop Jack, before he causes the end of the world. It still wasn't enough."
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But he wants to know what hers is.
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He rests his chin in his hands. He's not angry with her. Just concerned. "I didn't kill myself when Morien had his fucking glass in me. When he was forcing me to do what he wanted. But that's just because I was focused on survival. False hope that I'd get out."
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Ugh.
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Sighing, she shakes her head. "Especially for someone who's never killed anyone on purpose herself before. But Coil's never going to let Dinah go, and I can't leave her with him. He'll use her up. She's 12. I tried bargaining, tricking, buying- everything I can do. He's the one who decided it's him or me.
"And Shatterbird killed thousands of people like- days ago, in my world. Not her first mass casualty event, either.
"My dad was almost one of them."
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He sits back. "Why does it have to be only you?"
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"Since it's my- my team's fault Coil got his hands on her."
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