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[skitter]

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[littleonewhosteals]

"Yeah, but that's trying to run your own life. Not - running shit here," he says softly. "It's not about how much time. It's - the kind of responsibility and effort and shit."

[skitter]

"The only thing I'm in charge of here is Bughell," she points out, getting farther away from sleepy, more irritated. "You run the greenhouse, Tim's got the spa, Maggie's kitchen, Hunter did the hard work on the net."

[littleonewhosteals]

"Yeah, and none of that is really helping you, is it?"

He sits up, propping his head in his hand.

[skitter]

She shakes her head, swiping his pillow grumpily since he's sitting. "But it fills time I need filled."

[littleonewhosteals]

He doesn't mind. "Why does that time need filled? What happens in the empty moments?"

[skitter]

She rolls onto her stomach, arms crossed atop the two pillows and chin on her arms.

"I don't see you sitting idle much either, Kaz-lite."

[littleonewhosteals]

"Yeah, but that's because I'm made of energy and I get bored. Not because I'm trying to avoid the shit in my head."

He flashes her a grin.

[skitter]

"The shit in my head's no fun, and I don't like it. I could go get drunk every day to avoid it."

[littleonewhosteals]

"Yeah, then you get a fucking headache the next morning." He moves a little closer to her. "What are you trying to avoid?"

[skitter]

"Good thing the only headaches I've had in three years have been death tolls." She sighs, but leans her shoulder against his. "Lately, the feeling that I'm running away instead of stepping up."

[littleonewhosteals]

"Stepping up to what?"

He rests his head on her shoulder and then reaches out to toy with one of her braids.

[skitter]

"The not going home thing. It's- I'm set on that, I won't go back." But it's hard.

"I have to argue it with myself a lot."

[littleonewhosteals]

"Yeah? What does your self tell you when you argue?"

[skitter]

"That I'm a fucking coward," she mumbles into the pillows. "That I'll fuck up how I ask for my deal and it'll be worse off than before, and I won't be there to course-correct."

[littleonewhosteals]

He tugs gently on one of her braids. "You are capable, Taylor. You are the most capable fucking person I know. You won't fuck up your deal because you're going to talk it over with lots of people before you do and check your work. You know. Rely on other people to help."

[skitter]

She snorts quietly. "I'm capable of fucking it up, a lot. We've seen that."

[littleonewhosteals]

"Yeah, maybe when you rely on yourself and don't let other people help," he points out.

[skitter]

"But I won't know if I've fucked it up, either."

[littleonewhosteals]

"Yeah, and that's - shitty. Especially when you can't go and check. You just have to trust that ti works out."

[skitter]

She looks at him, just one brown eye above the crumpled pillow. "The Admiral is not on the short list of people I trust."

[littleonewhosteals]

"He gave me what I asked for," he tells her softly. "I don't trust him on his shit here, but I do trust him to keep a contract."

[skitter]

"That's why you're having him fix up your world, right?" she asks, pointed.

[littleonewhosteals]

"I got one wish and only one wish," he reminds her. "The only thing I can't control were the fae kids. I don't know what happened to them when we left. The rest? We can all do. Me. You. Cab. Inis. The Prince. Tal. The other fae."

He returns that pointed look. "Together."

[skitter]

She puts her face back in the pillow, sighing to herself, and reaches out for his hand again.

"You could stay for another deal. I have to do two."

[littleonewhosteals]

"No," he tells her, taking her hand. "I want to go home. My world can still be saved."