I- [It's difficult, talking about feelings, and all this shit when he'd barely felt comfortable asking her to go visit his parents. But the loss is lighting a fire under his ass, one that scratches gently at the surface of understanding that people might feel this way if he disappeared.
Alan had wanted to live too, but sometimes that isn't enough, not when there is a ticking timer.] John told me something a while back that I've been trying to put into practice... which is why I came over, cause you're not gonna feel it the way I do. I don't remember the specifics, but it's like...leaning out? It feels wrong, asking someone close to the thing for help, because they probably feel the same way, but you're not so connected, It's less of an emotional burden to you, if that makes sense?
Even if Saga can take it, I...I guess I don't want her to have to feel like she has to support me right now. And this, talking with you instead, if I can just get it out, maybe I can justify sharing some space with her without feeling like all I'm doing is taking.
[Clearly he's not used to approaching issues this way, if he could, he would fall right back into pretending the world was fine, but with everyone suddenly having their invisible clocks counting down from 60 seconds to one and resetting again like any minute could be the last, it was a bit too much to juggle both the coping and the panicking at the same time.
Still, he catches on her words, and its so much easier to help someone else than try and help himself. Changing the subject might not be good for him right now, not good for progress on this issue, but he might could trade it for another.]
no subject
Alan had wanted to live too, but sometimes that isn't enough, not when there is a ticking timer.] John told me something a while back that I've been trying to put into practice... which is why I came over, cause you're not gonna feel it the way I do. I don't remember the specifics, but it's like...leaning out? It feels wrong, asking someone close to the thing for help, because they probably feel the same way, but you're not so connected, It's less of an emotional burden to you, if that makes sense?
Even if Saga can take it, I...I guess I don't want her to have to feel like she has to support me right now. And this, talking with you instead, if I can just get it out, maybe I can justify sharing some space with her without feeling like all I'm doing is taking.
[Clearly he's not used to approaching issues this way, if he could, he would fall right back into pretending the world was fine, but with everyone suddenly having their invisible clocks counting down from 60 seconds to one and resetting again like any minute could be the last, it was a bit too much to juggle both the coping and the panicking at the same time.
Still, he catches on her words, and its so much easier to help someone else than try and help himself. Changing the subject might not be good for him right now, not good for progress on this issue, but he might could trade it for another.]
I don't think I could either, honestly. I get it.